METHODISTS, THOSE WONDERFUL SINGERS!
By
Garrison Keillor
We Lutherans make fun of Methodists for their blandness, their excessive
calm, their fear of giving offense, their slow speed while driving and their
fondness for macaroni and cheese. But, nobody sings like they do. If I were
to ask an audience in
sing along on the chorus of "Michael, Row the Boat Ashore," they
would look
daggers at me as if I had asked them to strip to their underwear. But, if
you do this among Methodists, they'll smile and row that boat ashore and up
on the beach and down the road.
Methodists are bred from childhood to sing in four-part harmony. It's a
talent that comes from sitting on the lap of someone singing alto or tenor
and hearing the harmonic intervals by putting your little head against that
person's rib cage. It's natural for Methodists to sing in harmony. They're
too modest to be soloists and too worldly to sing in unison. When you
Methodists are singing in the key of C and slide into the A 7th and D 7th
chords, all two hundred of you, it's an emotionally fulfilling moment.
By joining in harmony, Methodists promise that they will not forsake each
other. Methodists who love to sing in four-part harmony are the sort of
people you can always call upon when you are in deep distress. If you are
sick, they'll comfort you. If you are lonely, they'll talk to you. And, if
you are hungry, they will invite you over to share their tuna casserole...
So, go ahead Methodists, sing your hearts out! We Lutherans instinctively
know we can always count on you in a pinch.
(Excerpts from an essay by Garrison Keillor.)